negative thoughts

the thoughts, they weren't mine.

#1

i went to see a doctor at Az-Zahrah, Bangi the other day because i have few concerns being, firstly i have a constant stomach cramps (same like when u r about to have ur menstrual period) i was worried why do i have that when i won't be having menstrual period for nine months..? secondly i throw up a lot but i can't eat to replace whatever food that should be digested in my stomach, i was expecting ubat tahan muntah or something.

when i started to talk about my first concern (i haven't finish complaining), to my surprise, the doctor jumped to the part where she told me this "kalau bermasalah, itu bermaksud belum rezeki kita, kalau tuhan nak ambil balik, redha kan sahaja sebab walaupun kita boleh tahan, tapi dulu ada kes bila kita thn rupanya kepala baby tak form dgn sempurna, baby tu cacat, patut dah kita biar gugur, tapi bila thn mcm tu lah.macam tulah yg akan jadi kalau kita tak redha dengan ketentuan tuhan"

my reaction was "aik??" "what the????" dear doctor, i haven't event get all my concerns out yet and u are already preparing me for bad news? is that how u were taught back in med school? as if one patient is trying to tell u that he experiences stomach ache, would u tell him "kena lah redha, kalau dah sampai masa tuhan nak tarik nyawa" when he turned out to have ONLY indigestion problem???? isn't it too extreme?

oke, my positive-self replied to the doctor "saya faham apa maksud doktor, tapi saya hanya rasa stomach cramp itu kadang2 je. bukannya ada tumpah darah ke apa"..

and then she replied "itu biasa di waktu awal pregnancy, u have nothing to worry about".. i answered her "ha, this makes sense.."..she smiled.

#2

one of my staff at the office had experienced difficulties in getting a child for about 3 years and few miscarriages before she finally succeeded to get pregnant. now she has a son and a daughter. the news of me getting pregnant spread around and she came to my office and we had almost an hour conversation.

she started with "cik awin kena lah ready, bila tiba2 tumpah darah ke apa".."kadang-kadang mmg susah nak jadi"..and there are a lot of details that i think i should just keep to myself. but all her words seemed like she is telling me that all that will eventually happen to me.

i know she meant well,. just to share her experience or something, but the way she put it to me as if she was sure that i would experience that too. that's not fair, she should have doa for me.! at my condition right now, i can easily get irritated and worried..that is not helping dear..nope.

..............................

maybe they meant well, but the way they put it is so not right. don't stressed out pregnant ladies people. :)

..............................

but other than those two, everybody else was happy for me and only wish for the best. alhamdulillah.