sick mode

all the sickly stuffs started to come on my 6th weeks of pregnancy. at that point of time, my thought was, most people (org dulu-dulu lah) only find out about their pregnancy after 2 months of conceiving.. how can that be? can't you feel the different? doesn't your body give you early signs? weird..but i learned that all pregnancies are unique in itself even on the same person on different pregnancies. so, maybe they didn't experience early signs.

my week 6 (30 sept-6 Oct) :

i often feel so weak. seriously weak. threwing up so often. light headed. sleepy. but i only experience all this either early in the morning (after azan subuh before going to work) and the most after 6pm everyday. most of the time it prolonged until 3-4 hours.

my week 7 (7 Oct-13 Oct) :

throwing up more often,. light headed during office hours..fall flat every evening starting from 6 pm onwards (most of the time, i fell asleep at 8pm until the next morning)..

and an additional sickness = "DIZZY"...the highest level of dizziness..i don't have migraine but i am sure that it is worse than migraine!! imagine, crazy degree of dizziness + crazy degree of weakness, light headed..every night.!

the worst of all is that, i don't feel like eating anything because everytime i eat, i throw up everything that i just ate plus with yesterday's left over not-yet-digested-food.. i don't eat, i throw up some more..what is left? only a shrinked stomach..so instead of gaining weight like i thought would happen, i maybe loss some kgs. But it was just my guess, we haven't own any weight scale yet. :)

my big sister said, this is the beauty of pregnancy. i am not (yet) agreeable to that statement, maybe soon i will. because she's a mother, she knows better.

additional feelings:

i watched tv the other night about this girl who had given birth to a child and then she threw the new born downstairs from her 4th floor apartment. of course the new born died and already in heaven. she's not married (OF COURSE)..this led me into thinking how troublesome for a person to went through pregnancy when such pregnancy is unwanted. she must have went through all hardships too. alone and sinful. That is so agonizing. That is why our religion warned us not have sex before marriage. Now she has to face two huge sins, adultery and killing of another human being.! Ya Allah..!

My doa is for every muslim woman to not do the same. amin.!